|If I Should Fall|
|Summary:||Ser Jarod Rivers pens a will of sorts, to the care of his lord father, should he fall by Warrior's grace where no septon can relieve him in the battle against the Ironborn.|
|Related Logs:||Many. I'll insert links in the text as they apply.|
|Army Camp — Terrick's Roost|
|Tue Jan 10, 289|
Written by the hand of Ser Jarod Rivers on the 10th day of the first month, 299, in the army encampment in Terrick's Roost. Sealed and addressed to Lord Jerold Terrick, Four Eagles Tower.
My lord father,
I pray, if I have fallen, it was in the retaking of Terrick's Roost from the hands of the Ironborn curs, and this has found your hands. As, if that did not come to pass, none of this matters anyhow. If you are reading this, I hope that in the last of me I did some honors to the land of my blood. Know that I always served you both with pride and with love, and that I can think of no better death than in fighting for that which is Terrick. I have not much of my own, but I would like you to see to the dispensation of it, such as it is, as I know you will honor my wishes. Even if you do not fully understand them now, and perhaps do not come to agree with them later. All is asked out of love, my lord, and I know you will do it in kind.
Firstly, if my body is recoverable, I would like to be buried beside my mother in the plot just outside the castle for the household retainers. It seems proper, and I think I would find the easiest rest there with her.
What follows are instructions for the leaving of my possessions, and requests for a few last favors. Mostly the latter. There is much I would see done that I've not yet managed, or only managed rather poorly. See that these items and boons are delivered, such as they are, to those named below:
To my my fellow half-eagle brother, Jacsen Terrick, I leave my sword, not for him but for the son he shall one day have. The second or third one, or even his bastard should he get a Rivers, whoever is most worthy but lacks the right of first-born to carry the ancestral sword of the Terricks. I hope it shall keep his household strong when he is Lord of the Roost, even if I cannot be there to bear it.
The remainder of my armor, and horse, should go to Caytiv Hill, that he might be able to gear himself when he reaches his knighthood. I am sure he will do his lord father proud.
To my sister Lucienne Terrick, I leave Buttons the wolf. She knows where to find him. He will protect you always, even if I cannot, and I hope he will give you as much comfort as you ever gave me. You always saw the best part of me, Little Luci. See it in yourself as well, as I did, for you have the best heart of us all.
To the Lady Evangeline Terrick, I have only my deepest thanks for the home her grace made it possible for me to have. I understand a little better now that I am older and have loved some myself what that must have cost you. Tell her that, and that I am sorry for any harsh words I ever spoke to her, either as a stupid boy or as a generally stupider man. While she was not mother to me, if I have any sense of grace or manners in me it is her doing. I ask you, father, to pick her some flowers and tell her you love her. She will appreciate it, I think.
To Mistress Aubra Leetdan, as much a mother as I ever had, I leave the care of my cat, Ser Bartholemew. He is good company, and I think she will enjoy having someone to care for now that all of us are grown.
To Lady Isolde Nayland, nee Tordane, I leave a single green ribbon, a small token of a happy time we had together many years ago. I have taken to using it as a bookmarker, and you will find it in my desk drawer in my chamber at the Roost. Its import is between us, and I trust she will remember it as fondly as I do.
I also ask of Lady Isolde a single favor. Find an acorn, plant it in the rose garden of Tordane Tower, and nurture it into a proper oak tree. To replace that one which in his childhood gave so much comfort to Ser Gedeon Rivers, though time has felled it.
To Ser Gedeon Rivers himself, I leave a bottle of the best strongwine in the Roost's cellars. Unopened. Drink it as if we were drinking together, as we did when we were boyhood friends. We had some good times, and I remember you well as you were in them. I regret we grew to want the same thing, and hurt each other by it. Perhaps neither of us were ever really meant to have it.
To the brothers Ser Riordan and Lord Rafferdy Nayland, I leave a pair of requests.
Ser Riordan, if you are still in possession of or can come by my brother Ser Jaremy Middleton's eagle-winged helm, have it sent North to the Wall, that he may wear it as he seeks his own honor as a knight. For I've nothing to leave my fair non-lord brother myself save my thanks and love for what we were to each other, perhaps that token which was his own shall give him some comfort in the years to come.
Lord Rafferdy, I would only ask you remain a steadfast friend to your brother Rowan. He needs them very much, and blood is blood, at the end of the day. And, if he will, drink a toast to me with Lord Rowan to see me off to the Warrior's rest. I recommend good whiskey for it.
To Rowan Nayland himself, I have nothing to leave, though I ask you, father, to see that he is given all means to achieve his knighthood. He has done me good service, and earned it well, and would likely have it now had I not been so fickle with him.
I do have one favor for you to ask of Rowan. In my room there is a chest of old keepsakes, some of my mother's things, others that were gifts from his sister, Rowenna Rose Nayland. The woman I love. Please see that this is given to Rowan, that he may relay it to his sister. He will know where to find her. I regret that I do not think she ever knew how much they, or she, meant to me. And I regret that you never knew her, father, for she was my confidante and dearest friend, as well as lover for a time, though I did not do so well by her as to make her all mine. As I wanted. But you will, I think, understand that better than you'd like. Treat her well and give her whatever protection our house can offer, if she ever comes to you, for she still fears her lord father will try to stop her from living the life she dreams of, even disowned as she is. Protect her as I wish I could.
That is all I ask of you, father, and I have nothing else that is not already yours. If I was a good man at all in my life, I think it was largely your doing. And I thank you for that, too.